Lately, I have had a basket full but not full of things that are good for my soul. Many of you know I have been through a lot these past several years and maybe you are thinking, "so what? big deal! don't we all have a plate full and still have to handle things?" Or maybe you are thinking,"what is so special about your stuff?" Well, its not special! Honestly, my situation isn't bigger than yours or what you are going through. The difference is you have YOURS and I have MINE. Duh! Yes, I know I am stating the obvious. What isn't so obvious is how our hearts & spirits are doing during the process. Maybe one can tell by some one's mood what their "emotional temp" is for the day but do we really know what is in one's heart. I have to share with you that for me to say I need space is huge. Yes, I need my daily dose of quiet time however, space, that is different. My personality typically does not require this much space but my spirit has required it. My soul has been extra quiet. My mind still races. Some nights I sleep and others I do not. I know many of you reading this probably have whispered the words "is she depressed?" Hummm, good question. My together self would say no. My messy self would say not depressed but a little sad. Sad for reasons I can't even find or let alone grasp the words to articulate what I feel or think. I have had good days and I have had some really bad days. Days where the thought of doing the dishes is monstrous to me. Oh they still get done. Then I have days where not only do I get the dishes done but I cook a full meal and have a craft hanging from my frig. Of course my craft consist of watercolors or paint or crayons. Nothing that would capture the alluring eyes of pinterest. To be more vulnerable I have felt like a failure. Feeling as if I am failing everything around me. House blessings(chores), hubby time, child time, bible study, weight loss, exercise, church activities and well you name it, add it to the growing list. Then I was on the phone with a very good & wise woman who said " do not compare yourself to others!" Ouch! She is so right. I was. Then after our heart felt talk about life it hit me. I was allowing Satan to attack me. Did you read that? Allow! I was leaving myself open to believing his lies instead of resting in truth. Do I still struggle with all of those life situations of juggling them? Yes! I was leaving myself unarmed on a daily basis! Wide open for sin to creep in and let Satan do his dirty work on me. For me right now it is one day at a time. One step forward of picking one thing on that list that I struggle with to conquer. Exercise is the one thing I can get right. Being with the Lord is another that I will always "get right." It may not be an hour of studying the bible. It may be 15 minutes but that is okay. They just need to be 15 minutes worth of filling my basket full so I am armed for the day.
Speaking of baskets I love my basket in the first picture. I have had it since we got engaged. I fill it with magazines, books I love to read, bibles that comfort me and journals that I long to fill(haha). I know many of us have a "go to" place where we gather with the Lord for our daily walk. I have a bookcase full of many books to assist me or challenge me. Like in this one.
(I left it in its purest form. a little messy)
Then I have this chair and side table I love to rest in. It is the same chair I rocked my baby, nursed him and read many wonderful stories. Sometimes, I am just quiet with my fresh cup of coffee rocking away in my chair. Then the Lord gives me a word of Hope for the day or a quiet whisper of Encouragement to continue on.
I don't know where you are with your walk with the Lord. I also don't know what you are filling your basket full of. I pray no matter how hard the day or even easy it can be that You are really looking to HIM for truth. Truth to set you free. Truth that gives anchor to your soul and quietens your mind. Truth that carries you through the day, prepared to fight. Truth that pricks at you to challenge you to do better in HIS eyes not yours or your peers or the world. Truth that makes you ponder on the Lord and where HE wants you to be in the moment.
Here was the TRUTH spoken to me today.....
Psalms 103:1-4
BLESS the Lord, O my soul
And all that is within me, bless His holy name
Bless the Lord, O my soul
And forget none of his benefits
Who pardons all your iniquities
Who heals all your diseases
Who redeems your life from the pit
Who crowns you with lovingkindness and compassion
Who satisfy your years with good things
So that your youth is renewed like the eagle.
Go fill your basket my friend....
