Monday, October 20, 2014

For you the Single Parent

This picture captures that time in our life. 

I dedicate this post to single parents everywhere. Whether your spouse is in the military and that makes you like the single parent or the one whose spouse travels all the time so you are a single parent most of the time. Sometimes you can be married and still your spouse is not doing what they are suppose to or carrying their weight. Just because you are married does not guarantee you have someone helping you in the way it should be. 

This is a 31 day series that I am participating in even though I started late! Go here to see more 31 dayers. I encourage you to take the time to visit and find a blog that inspires you or teaches you something! Also, Go here for more post in this series of 31 days Brave. Then if you want to read the first 31 I participated in go here. 

Yesterday we were blessed to have late lunch plans with some wonderful friends. We were celebrating Jeff's birthday! Jeff & Tiffany are part of a group that we call our "first friends" that we made here in the Austin area. Such a blessing to see them again and celebrate Jeff.  The events made me think about all our "first friends" and everything that has taken place over the last few years.

Several years ago my husband lost his job. Among many others in our area where we lived at the time. He was without a job for 10 months. Our church, family and friends carried us during that difficult time. My husband was sought after from a head hunter to take a contact job here in the Austin area. It was not permanent. September 7, 2010 he was to report to his new job. I stayed behind since we knew it was not permanent. Obviously, it became permanent since we are all here now! I wanted to talk about that hard decision we had to make as a family that we were going to be apart for a long time. In the beginning, he did come home on the weekends but it was hard. He would leave on a friday night and leave again early monday mornings to get back to Austin. That is tough on anyone. You do what you have to for your family. Our son at the time was only 2 so he was in a mother's day out program and I had my little jobs plus keeping up with our house. It was tough. In October they quickly wanted to hire my husband for a permanent position. Since there were fees involved the earliest he could be hired officially was February 2011.

I brought you up to speed to let you take a peek into what would be one of the toughest seasons of life for our family. Maybe you already feel the feelings surrounding this situation or maybe you can relate to it because you are there now or have been there. Everyday I was a single mom Monday through Friday. In the beginning, my husband would come home every weekend but once he was put into the "on call" rotation that stopped. Plus, he was worn out during the week from making that trip back and forth between cities. I could not travel during the week to see him since I had my job. Part time only but it was still a commitment. The Lord really taught me a lot during this lonely time in my life. I had my son to keep me busy and he really brought joy to my life when I needed it the most. It is a hard thing to go to bed by yourself almost every night or come home to an empty house. Yes, I had my son but without your partner in life by your side it makes it tough. I did not have relief. If the yard needed to be mowed, I did it. Something needed to be fix, I fixed it or I would hire someone. Yes, I had friends I could call on and I did. I was very careful not to exhaust them. Laying my head down at night with no one to "talk" to about my day or to just be with was tough. I can not find another word to describe this season of my life. Tough pretty much sums it up. During that 10-11 months I was simply in what I call "go mode." If I couldn't do it then I had to find someone to do it. My mind was always racing. It is very humbling to ask for help or feel that you are in need all the time. It is also very freeing to find out you can do it or to discover you can learn how to do it successfully. 

A lot of lessons were gained during this season of my life. The one that I take to heart the most is getting a glimpse into the life of a single parent. It is tough stuff! My hats are off to you and you do not receive enough recognition or praise for all that you do. I only had to do it for 10-11 months. The real heroes are the ones in the trenches everyday not knowing when or if they will have relief any time soon. I can only imagine the parents who are raising multiple kids and all the challenges that they must face. You are truly Brave my friends. 


  1. yes, single parents are BRAVE and the society is not giving them enough credit or attention and support. my mum was a single parent and so is my sister... hope I'll never have to experience this, too.
    Nice post, Shellie, thank you for sharing!
    xoxo Anna

  2. I have so much respect for parents who go it alone, whether it is for the weekend, week, month, etc. And military spouses? I'm not sure anyone can be more brave.

  3. So true. My mom was a military spouse, and for a few years, my dad was gone two-thirds of the year. I remember staying up late and bonding with my mom, but I can't even imagine how hard it was for her during that time.

  4. So great for you to encourage others in this situation. BRAVE is right!