Monday, September 12, 2011

Kate and no more 8

Ya know say what you will about Kate on her show Kate Plus 8 but at least she put herself out there and admitted her own faults. Her show ended last night or so I have heard. Remember I do not have cable so I rely on FB or Friends to give me an update. Anyway, I thought about her yesterday today and how she must be feeling. Oh I know, many many people have varies judgements about her and will openly give their "humble" opinion. They think she is a terrible person or some say they don't blame Jon for leaving her or she got what she deserved. Really? I mean really this is how people view her or the situation. Honestly, I am just grateful they are not the ones standing in the corner judging my faults. Now, I am not in agreement with how she openly or "privately" treated her husband. Anyone can see that she was in the wrong and she even admits her own wrong doing to Jon. I understand she "chose" to have cameras in her house and she "chose" to do the show BUT does that really mean she "deserves" what is coming to her? Jon wasn't Mister Squeaky clean himself. They both sinned. Let's just call a spade a spade! Okay?

For a minute let's take off our own shoes and put theirs on for a brief moment. What would we discover? First, we would find a couple who struggled to have kids thus began an interesting journey of having zero to 8 in a very short period of time. That is enough to make anyone wanna pull their hair out, right? I mean I love children and I really LOVE my own. However, that doesn't mean we are calloused to chaos. It is a house full of little people with all different personalities and opinions. Now, I have also heard the argument "well they shouldn't have had more?" I am NOT going to go there. I am not going to judge someone's life by the number of children they have or don't have based on how well things are going in their personal life. My point is let's be careful where we do choose to point our fingers. It is so easy to sit in our comfy chairs and make conclusions based on a 30 minute show that is edited. I know I have in the past. Okay back on track....SO, here they are 8 kids, 8 mouths to feed, 8 little ones to buy diapers, clothes, shoes, and you name it that times 8! Maybe they put themselves on tv because of financial demands. I really don't know! I can assume. I am not in their shoes so I have no idea all the reasons behind their choices. I do know that they got help in the beginning from their church and friends so I don't think they were in a seriously poor poor state. Honestly, none of us really know. Yes, I have seen the interviews with the sister in law and brother about Kate wanting to exploit the children and her level of selfishness. Again just put that aside for a moment. So, they do the show. they are popular overnight and everyone wants to see them. Not just the kids but Jon & Kate. Weren't you drawn to how genuine Kate was in the beginning? Do you remember her showing her stomach after having 8 kids? I do! Google it! I think every woman was drawn to her magnetic personality. The fact that she too was trying to make ends meet for her household all the while she cooked, cleaned, did laundry, and even looked "normal"(messy hair, comfy clothes mom look). I think most families of multiplies were relating to the crazy constant demands of the children's schedule throughout the day. I even took a deep sigh and thought see I am not the only one! Not only that but I am so grateful for my plate! ha! As time went on we related less to her as a person because let's face it she DID let herself become Hollywoodized! Is that even a word? Oh well! She seem to really let her colors fly in ways we did not appreciate not just as moms but as women.

Now, Jon I do think most men could relate on some level. Go to work, get home, eat dinner, more work and now you are to parent your 8 children. Bath time, bed time, play time, dinner time, teaching time and bonding time. Somewhere in all that craziness find "time" alone with yoor spouse. He seemed to be a little bit more on the passive side. Most would say, do you blame him? Did you see what he had to face everyday? He never felt measured up or whatever he did was never "good enough." Yes, I can see that. However, I can also see how one might get frustrated or impatient if they are always the one "doing" or being "assertive" in everyday LIFE. I have a very close friend who is in that position. She is the one that thinks of everything and her husband just goes off of the list. She has told me many times it is exhausting! I can also see how one person's words can wear down a soul. Reminds of the scripture Proverbs 21:9 "Better to live on the corner of a roof than to share a house with a nagging wife." OUCH! I remember the episode where Kate said "did I really sound and look that way?" She couldn't believe how she was coming across to Jon but in the same season Jon began to snap back. Then the cameras began to reveal an angry bitter Jon.

I am not going to recap everything but just the few times I did watch I caught a glimpse of ugliness and selfishness. I also thought what if the cameras were on at my house? What if they were on at your house 24/7? How would your personal life come across? Sometimes the one we truly love the most is the one we serve the least. That is not what Christ calls us to do. In Philippians 2 it says "do nothing from selfishness ambition and conceit but in humility count others more significant than yourself. Let each of you look not only to his own interest, but also the interest of others." Humility it is an interesting word. It is a hard one for us to really wrap our heads around and apply to our everyday life. It is not one that society puts in a good light or is even talked about in everyday life. However, Christ was our greatest example. He emptied himself. If I truly empty myself then I would consider my husband or anyone before myself. I would serve. I would assume the best about that person in all situations. I would always look at it from their point of view and try to really see what they see. I would give grace. I would overlook an offense. Proverbs 19:11 "a man's wisdom gives him patience; and is his glory to overlook an offense." How many times have we thought to ourselves "he doesn't care about me or what I have done all day?" When really we should stop to say "because I love Christ and him I will continue to serve no matter what I think or believe things to be." It is hard to be in the servant position at all times but that is what Christ did for us. Philippians 2:7 " but emptied himself by taking on the form of a bond servant." A bond servant! Wow! I wonder how many people would truly get married if their vow exchange looked like this...."and do you promise to be a bond servant to one another, humbling yourself, considering the other persons needs before yours, always assuming the best of that person, overlooking their offense at all times, never keeping a record of wrong doing, you promise to bear all things, hope all things, and endure all things until death do you part?" I Corinthians 13 talks about LOVE. Love is patient love is kind, it does not envy or boast. None of us are perfect! I mess up everyday and I am so grateful to the one who gives me GRACE! I believe without that I would be in a world of trouble. HE gave us GRACE so we should show grace to all, especially the one we have chosen to spend our life with and to our families.

So why do I bring up Jon & Kate and our own marriages? I believe we sometimes need to really stop and think what it truly looks like to Be Jesus! If Jon & Kate had chosen to take on that attitude together during their show, things could've been different. I know what you are thinking " then it would not have gotten good ratings!" Really? What about the Duggars? Yes, they are a crazy mass huge family that many many like to tune in to but Jim Bob and Michelle seem to grasp the concept of "Be Jesus." I am not Kate. I am not Jon. I don't have 8 children so I can speculate all day of the "what ifs." What I don't have to speculate about is being a "bond servant" like Christ is truly the position or place I need to be in my daily life.

How is your humble day going?

1 comment:

  1. Totally agree with your post. I just feel so sad that this happened to this family, and you can almost feel the pain when you watch the show. She keeps saying, "my kids will be fine." I'm sure they will survive, and probably be "fine" but there is truly a reason that God hates divorce. He LOVES the people, but the pain that a broken family brings is ugly. Thanks for giving me more to ponder :)