Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Rip Out My Hair

kinda of a day! I am just having one of those days where no matter what I do or how I do it the end results seem to be failure. Do you ever have one of these? Seriously? I have EVEN prayed over it and still I do not feel the overwhelming peace I am suppose to feel. I have read all my "proper" bible studies and still my spirit feels weak. I have been silent..no tv, no radio, no fb, no phone calls. Nothing that would block me or distract me.

Why oh why can't I shake this feeling or attitude off of myself? Don't I control this or do I?

So what do you do when YOUR day has been nothing but "poo?" Yep, I said it! Or do you even get one of these days?

I must admit they are rare. Don't misunderstand me I have things that go wrong or the "stuff" fails before me but rarely do I feel or have the outlook I do today. It is kinda like that dream you have that made you mad and you don't know why you are mad but you just are.

However, it is truly days like this that I am on my knees more than I am standing. Even when I don't feel it is working I still press on. It is so hard to do isn't it? Hard to press on when you don't feel like it or want to. I believe motherhood is the most selfless act anyone will ever take on in life. My relationship with Christ has been deepen since I had my son. Nothing like having a child to open your eyes to your own short comings or how Christ feels about you as His child.

I do LOVE being a mom, wife, daughter, friend and sister but I come imperfect. Only Christ can carry me or take me where I need to go. Only HE can show me what I need to do and how to do it. HE gives me the ultimate wisdom I need for the moment. Sometimes it feels it comes late...ha ha or maybe I wasn't listening.

Sisters, can you relate?

Then I become very quiet so much that I begin to observe all that is around me. HE taps me on my shoulder to say "watch your son and how he plays with his bike. Look at the tender spirit that grows before you." (breathe)

I am so grateful that my daily failures don't determine my Character or dictate whom I am. I am so grateful that Christ allows me to start fresh and I don't have to wait until morning. Though it would be nice to close my eyes go to bed and POOF the day is done. Ha!

Thanks for listening...sometimes just letting it out in words helps and you thought you were coming here for something great! Maybe next time.

This Picture was taken exactly 3 years ago today. Funny part is as I am typing my son and hubby are in the middle of bath time. Sometimes I like to look back at what we were doing on a night like this a few years back. Somedays it seems a LIFE time ago and other days it just happened. Pictures like these put a smile on my face.

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